What every "Catholics Come Home" Minister should know about Catholics married outside the Church
Catholics marry outside the Church for a number of reasons. Sometimes a call to military service or a pregnancy prompts an expedient marriage; sometimes it is an issue with a prior marriage that requires attention first; sometimes it is a lack of appreciation of the difference between a sacramental marriage in the Church and a civil marriage; and often it is simply misunderstanding.
Whatever the reason, the Church always has a Pathway to the Sacraments open.
Catholics who have married outside the Church, without receiving a dispensation or permission from the Church to do so, may only need to come forward to prepare for marriage in the Church. If the marriage outside the Church ended in divorce, this marriage may be considered to have a defect in or lack of form. The parish priest can work with the couple to resolve the issue with an administrative process.
When there are issues with a prior marriage that ended in divorce, the Church has a process to review that marriage and to determine if a sacramental union ever took place. That process is handled through the Tribunal. There is some work to do and it takes some time (usually about one year), but it is a process that is filled with compassion and understanding that can help bring about emotional healing from past hurts. It is important to recognize that children of a marriage outside the Church are legitimate, because a civilly legal marriage took place. Declaring that a sacramental union did not occur does not change the status of that legally valid marriage - nor does a civil divorce change the status of a sacramental marriage.
Catholics who are married or remarried outside the Church are always welcome to participate in the life of the Church. However, in order to receive the sacraments or to be in "sacramental communion" with the Church, they need to reconcile any barriers to marriage and complete the process to "convalidate" their marriage in the Church.
The Church will ask the couple to properly prepare for this sacramental marriage by meeting with the pastor, taking a pre-marriage inventory and attending a specially designed marriage preparation program and a Natural Family Planning information meeting. The intent is to build strong and lasting sacramental unions and to enrich the civil marriage that exists.
When Catholics married outside the Church "convalidate" their marriages or receive the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony, we often say they have their marriages "blessed." Convalidation is that, but it is so much more. Strengthened with Christ at the center, continually enriched with the grace that flows not only from the sacrament of matrimony but also Reconciliation and Holy Eucharist, these sacramental marriages become "partnerships of the whole of life."
What every "Catholics Come Home" Minister should know about Divorce Recovery Support in the Rockford Diocese
The Catholic Church is committed to the Sacrament of Matrimony and living marriage as God originally intended - as a lifelong partnership of the whole of life. However, the Church realizes that all marriages do not form the unbreakable bond of the sacrament. Divorce is a reality.
When Catholics divorce, there is often confusion and misunderstanding in addition to the grief attached to the loss of a relationship and dream. It is important that Catholics continue to feel welcomed in their Church.
Parish-based divorce recovery support provides an opportunity for divorced Catholics to:
- Experience continued welcome and support from the Church.
- Express their emotions of grief in an understanding, confidential and non-judgmental environment with others who have experienced similar pain.
- Learn the truth about their status in the Church. Unless remarried they remain in sacramental communion with the Church and are encouraged to receive the Sacraments of Reconciliation and Eucharist. If remarried, they are encouraged to explore the journey back to the Church as a couple.
- Heal from their past experience with the help of the Church and in the presence of God.
- Understand how the annulment process might be appropriate for them and how it should precede any future dating relationships.
In the Diocese of Rockford, divorce recovery support is provided through a program called "Divorce and Beyond." This is a parish-based program lasting 10 weeks, led by a trained facilitator using a Catholic professionally-developed program.
Encouraging those searching or considering returning to the Church to attend a Divorce and Beyond series can be an important step in removing misconceptions and reconciling with the Church.
On March 21, 2010 the Family Life Office will host a day of healing, caring and welcome for divorced Catholics. Presented by Rose Sweet, a popular author, teacher and speaker, the program titled "Helping You Find Peace, Power and Passion after Divorce" will offer real solutions to real needs. Consult the Family Life website, http://familylife.dpsrfd.org/familylife for more information.
It is recommended that you call the site to verify when the next sessions will start.
| Site | City | Deanery | Parish Phone |
| SS Peter and Paul | Cary | McHenry | 847 516-2636 |
| St. Thomas Aquinas | Freeport | Freeport | 815 232-3225 |
| Holy Family | Rockford | Rockford | 815 398-4280 |
| St. John Neumann | St. Charles | Elgin | 630 377-2779 |
| St. Thomas the Apostle | Crystal Lake | McHenry | 815 455-5400 |
| St. Mary | Huntley | McHenry | 847 669-3137 |
| St. Edward | Rockford | Rockford | 815 229-0282 |
| St. Michael | Galena | Freeport | 815 777-2053 |
What every "Catholics Come Home" Minister should know about support for grieving families
Families who are grieving disruptions in their family system need the outreach and support of the Church. Family disruptions can arise from a range of family changes such as death of a parent, divorce, terminal illness, military service or incarceration.
In the Rockford Diocese, we utilize the RAINBOWS program as grief support for children and as assistance for parents. RAINBOWS is an international program that works through peer support groups led by trained facilitators. The RAINBOWS materials are specifically designed for each age level and help the child understand emotions, how to express them and eventually how to find a brighter future.
Children who do not have an opportunity to process their losses often have short terms problems academically and behaviorally. Long-term the issues can become more significant with drugs and alcohol, sex and gangs and criminal activity.
RAINBOWS can bring healing and peace to the family as it helps the children to restore their self-esteem.
RAINBOWS groups meet in some of our Catholic schools and parishes, and at some public schools and community based programs.
If a RAINBOWS program is available locally it can help the entire family unit. Being there for the family in time of need is an important way that our local church can show its support both spiritually and with practical assistance. More information on RAINBOWS is available at RAINBOWS.org or contact the Family Life Office.
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